Ibuprofen Oops!

Hey.  You there.  You’d better read my blog every day.  ‘Cause according to a new study, I might not be here for long.

Here’s the relevant sentence:  “Perhaps the most relevant study finding for U.S consumers self-medicating with OTC ibuprofen products is that ibuprofen showed a 29% higher risk of stroke.”

NOW they tell me!!!  If ONLY I’d known!  I’d have taken naproxen all these years!  DANG it!

But the worst part is I may be the sole perpetrator of a sudden downturn in speech and foot movement of a dozen innocent victims.  ‘You want drugs?  I’ve got ‘em: anti-inflammatory, antihistamine, anti-nausea, anti-venom.  Ad infinitum.  You name it, I’ve got it.  I’m the lady everybody comes to when their knee goes out, neck tweaks in, or back pangs up.

It’s clear, if I’m going to dispense medications without a license, I should at least provide an array of choices to the poor suckers.  Like the classic flight attendant joke:  “Coffee?  Tea?  Tiparillo?”   I could take one of my husband’s fishing fly boxes and have a real assortment, Man.  Fasten them to the inside of a trench coat.  “Hey, Dudes…”.

Woah.  This is the first time I’ve posted in the morning.  Being wide awake and writing is dangerous: Here I am, making light of heart attack, stroke, and drug dealing.  It’s a good thing my mother doesn’t read this blog.

I guess the bottom line is – I don’t feel too much guilt for having helped a few people stay in the volleyball game; or continue playing on the fresh-cut lawn with the kids.  I’m willing to let the chips fall where they may!

But I secretly hope the naproxen users grow extra toes.

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This entry was posted in Self-confrontation and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Ibuprofen Oops!

  1. Tamz says:

    Girl, one day I’m cryin’, the next I’m still cryin’ but because I’m laughin’ so hard. This was hysterical!! You got something for that?….. being hysterical?

    Personally, I think this is destined to be a widely followed blog.

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