After-50 Weight Loss? R-i-i-i-ight….

eHow.com has an article entitled “How to Lose Weight After 50”.   For a fleeting moment, I wondered, After your first 50?

Actually I knew losing weight is difficult at my age.  One friend said it gets easier again after menopause.  But if I keep talking about that, my husband will not read the rest of today’s blog.  So, moving on…  My mother offered that it makes sense that our bodies would guard weight, in order to prepare for later in life, when we have involuntary weight loss.  Involuntary weight loss? Man.  Just shut up, Mom. (Kidding.  Sort of.)

I go to eHow quite often.  This article is very helpful.  But I didn’t like the little icon:  [ “Difficulty: Moderately Easy”  ]

EASY: 1) requiring no great labor or effort;  2) free from pain, discomfort, worry, or care; 3) not harsh or strict.  …….I DON’T THINK SO!

The article gave some good tips, which I’ll include here, with my own sage advice added:

1. Walk more – To take off all this weight, I’d have to walk to China. And back.

2. Tone up – I suppose they want me to wash dishes with dumbbells in my hands?

3. Gain flexibility – Hey: I’m up for a latte any time.  Is that flexible enough?

4. Take vitamins – I already do this.  Because 20 years ago some vitamin salesman said our soil is depleted of nutrients.

5. Eat less – I’m discovering the only way this will make a difference is if I eat …weekly.

6. Make changes gradually – I like this one!  [Be Right Back, LOL]

7. Enlist a friend – Oh, like that’s a good thing to do to somebody you love.  Nott!

All joking aside, I need to get some weight off.  If I keep the status quo until the involuntary weight loss phase, they’ll be telling my kids jokes like these:

Your mama is so fat….  — ….she has to iron her pants on the driveway.  — …when she tripped over on 4th Avenue, she landed on 12th.  — …when she gets on the scale it says, “We don’t do livestock.”

Okay, that’s enough for today.  And don’t worry: I’m hanging in there.  Literally.

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One Response to After-50 Weight Loss? R-i-i-i-ight….

  1. Tamz says:

    Even my husband thought this was hilarious. He L(ed)OL too!

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