A long time ago, somebody taught me a neat trick: if hubby’s due home soon, and dinner isn’t even started yet [“WHAT!?” You say? C’mon: as IF that’s never happened to YOU!]—just turn on the oven, cut an onion in half, and set it on top of the stove. Voila! ‘Smells like home cookin’! [‘Only downside is, I married a former professional cook; if what I DO end up cooking doesn’t have onion in it, the jig is up!]
It’s not too common for me to watch a movie in the afternoon, but it’s a good bet when I’d spent an hour and a half digging rock away from a root-bound tree stump, and Hubby’s working overtime and not expected home until 10. The DVD ended at 7:30, at which time I started the casserole for his late-night supper. SURPRISE! Before the garlic was pressed, the phone rang: “Put the coffee on, Hon: [Friend] and I are almost home; I didn’t want to miss that trailer on Craigslist.”
I immediately cut an onion in half.
(It was Step 2 anyway. Cottage Pie. Yum.)
Next, the onslaught of mental barrage: A phone call would have been nice. … Brother, I wonder if [Friend] is staying for dinner; of COURSE it would be the night I’m trying a new recipe. … “HEY! Somebody hide that laundry!”
I put my daughter on Step 3, which involved the microwave. Suddenly, the frying sounds I’d been hearing sounded more like nothing; and the kitchen was conspicuously absent of little red appliance lights. GREAT. Former cook / turned electrician’s fancy GFI’s are no match for Mamma’s giant skillet. More mental barrage: The Dude is now officially “O” for 2.
I heard the car pull up, and some rattling around at the south end of the house. My daughter runs out to greet them. After awhile, she comes back in: “Dad’s decided to store the trailer in the garage….”
“Marge Simpson-style growl.” Strike 3, you’re out.
Stay tuned to this blog for further updates. Will Elsie ….
(a) Snicker from my side of the bed, secretly knowing why he’s in the bathroom all night (e.g., “Honey, I don’t think that Cottage Pie is agreeing with me!”)
(b) Load that trailer with heavily-fertilized soil and plant petunias in it!
(c) Go to prison for using that giant skillet in a creative way….