Ch-ch-changes / Pretty soon you’re gonna get a little older / Time may change me / But I can’t trace time — David Bowie
Now that our nest is getting closer to empty, I think about stuff: My purpose; my time; my marriage. That’s typical. Okay, don’t forget—I can read your minds: “Now your time is free for ministry!” … “Get a job; Social Security’s a joke.” … “Hey: you still have a husband, a daughter, and two elderly ladies to take care of.” Thank you, Readers; you’re all very helpful, lol.
What’s surprising to me is, Hubby’s thinking, too. He’s working on relationships. He’s always been a Social Sam, but with those closest to him, not-so-much. But it’s improving. With me, however, he seems to struggle. I am the conundrum of his existence—an enigma. I don’t blame him (entirely): I, too, am a Friendly Freda, but with Hubby I tend to clam up. Another reminder that hindsight is 20/20. Which, added together, is my behind. (Did she actually say that?!)
Well, anyway… In an attempt to work at a healthy marriage, I made up some cards today. Enjoy:
LOVE – Assume he/she means well. ~ Renew your commitment daily. ~ Respect each other’s privacy. ~ Be empathetic. ~ Be sensitive to his/her moods. ~ Forgive. ~ Go on dates. ~ Morning cuddle. ~ Persevere.
ACTION – Handle finances together. ~ Look good. ~ Obey God’s instructions for your role. ~ Work on projects together. ~ Worship God together. ~ Serve the church together.
FUN – Celebrate little things. ~ Email. ~ 5-minute connections. ~ Little surprises. ~ Make plans. ~ Play games. ~ Rearrange things. ~ Share hospitality.
COMMUNICATION – Admit fault/take responsibility. ~ Be genuine, humble, and sweet. ~ Be honest and open. ~ Compromise. ~ Do not stay angry for long. ~ Laugh a lot. ~ Listen more. ~ Pick your battles. ~ Respond carefully. ~ Share what you read and learn. ~ Talk more.
PROTECTION – Do not provoke jealousy. ~ Guard him/her. ~ Help each other be healthy and fit. ~ Honor him/her among others. ~ Study Scripture and pray together. ~ Trust each other. ~ Deal with sins.
ENCOURAGEMENT – Ask his/her plans for today. ~ Ask how it went today. ~ Be interested in his/her interests. ~ Serve (do acts of kindness). ~ Show appreciation. ~ Support each other (don’t be selfish). ~ Tell what you like about him/her.
So it’s time I stick my neck out a bit—talking more, doing more, and loving more. Here’s to Ch-ch-changes!