I will now list things about my house that are creepy:
Minor ant problem. On my countertops, which are black with white specs, a scurrying ant looks more like a wavy hallucination.
We have three potties; one opens right up into my mother’s kitchen. The other two have somebody’s bed on the other side of the door, if you get my drift. 😉
There’s a large contraption in my family room we use as a laundry rack. I think it’s called a treadmill?
All guests get physically accosted by a 30-pound critter with sharp claws and a ten-inch tongue.
Unlike Aunt Mabel’s house, that smells like apple pie, mine smells like Lysol. It’s better than the alternative.
Racket in the living room; it sounds like a gigantic, crackling bonfire! But it’s a plastic water bottle being crunched by that 30-pound critter with a ten-inch tongue.
The roof got done, not so the gutters. There’s a salesman’s drip out there that’ll put a chill down your back in a New York minute.
There’s a six-foot cabinet loaded to the gills with deer skin/hair, bird feathers, and rabbit faces. Yes. I said rabbit faces.
There’s one room with only three pieces of furniture, all the drawers of which duct-taped shut.
I do not recommend snooping in small containers. You might observe what looks a lot like a set of human teeth.
Do NOT under any circumstances touch any laundry or wastebaskets in the hallway. Ever.
There is a dish of triangular-shaped compressed grain and fish material on my computer printer.
We eat winter squash.
In your sleepy stupor before coffee, you might soak your foot in a bowl of a small amount of lukewarm water that didn’t get lapped up by that ten-inch tongue.