The 12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, I gave out underwear,

Secretly, while no one else was there.

= – =

On the second day of Christmas, I gave a party,

They stayed until ten-thirty.

= – =

On the third day of Christmas, I wrote my Christmas cards,

Who knew reviewing a year would be so hard.

= – =

On the fourth day of Christmas, I schmoozed with Hubby’s boss,

But it got awkward when the secretary got sauced.

= – =

On the fifth day of Christmas, I finished at the stores:

Now I have gifts I don’t even know who for.

= – =

On the sixth day of Christmas, I heard a choir sing

Praises to the King of Kings!

= – =

On the seventh day of Christmas, ice had shut us in,

We watched Scrooge, the Bishop’s Wife, and the Grinch.

= – =

On the eighth day of Christmas, I made zucchini bread,

With visions of low-fat in my head.

= – =

On the ninth day of Christmas, we decorated the tree:

Myself, Yours Truly, and Me.

= – =

On the tenth day of Christmas, I coffeed with St. Nick,

‘Asked for coal in all the stockings, and make it quick.

= – =

On the eleventh day of Christmas, I visited family,

We stayed till ten-thirty.

= – =

On the twelfth day of Christmas, we opened all our stuff:

Okay this song is done; it’s through; enough!

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