Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Two Tads of Trivia:

1)-  “Cold hands, warm heart” has been traced back to “Collectanea” by V.S. Lean, and first cited in the U.S. in “Blue Murder” by E. Snell.

2)-  “Cold Hands, Warm Heart” was an episode of The Outer Limits, a pre-Star-Trek appearance of William Shatner in a role similar to Captain Kirk, involving a mission called Project Vulcan.

Freakish weather we’ve been having lately.  But that’s no excuse for being ridiculously redundant, blatantly boring, and downright trite (like this sentence).  But (Buck up, Buccaneers) I swear I’ll strangle the next person who says, “Cold hands, warm heart.”  Can you possibly restrain yourself from saying that?  Again?  Can you?

The adage itself, when used as written, is actually quite cruel.  It means, “I’m sure deep down you have some warmth beneath that cool exterior.”  Ooh. Now that is chilling.

Men ask women, “Why are you always cold?”  Some studies say women have higher core temperatures, but men’s hands are colder.  Some say women have warmer hearts but colder hands—but this varies with age, fitness, hunger, tiredness, even menstrual status.  (Typical government research:  no conclusive results so they play the red card.)

Supposedly, people who start with cold hands shunt blood more readily from the extremities to the core, which makes them feel colder before other people do.  This, too, is inconclusive.  But it is accepted that fatter people tend to have colder hands.  (Just a minute while I go get my gloves.)

I think we’d all agree that each person perceives temperature differently: some like it brisk, some like it toasty.  At work, my husband deals with this dynamic daily.  John’s 72 is Jane’s 68.  He settles these disputes by carrying a calibrated contraption.  Numbers don’t lie.

I wish he could have been with me in his mother’s room this morning:

Effie:  [arms folded like she’s cold]

Laura:  Do you want your heater turned up?

Effie: Yes.

Laura: “But I notice you took off your socks and your blankets are on the floor.  Do you want the heater left as it is?”

Effie:  Yes.

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