No Bumper Stickers

I’ve been married to Dave almost 28 years, and I’ve known him for 35.  In that time, I’ve learned he has some hard-and-fast rules.  Just a few, really:

#1: Do not write about Hubby in the blog.

#2: Never disobey Rule #1.

#3: Refrain from giving or throwing away his stuff.

#4: Never put carrots in stir-fry.

#5: Christmas illumination does not take place before Black Friday.

#6: Always have JIF peanut butter in the house.

#7: Don’t wash the dishes when there’s a movie on.

#9: Don’t break (any more) fishing poles.

#10: No bumper stickers.

Obviously, these little rules are a cinch.  And he’s amiable enough; case in point, today I disregarded the first two!

An observer might think I cheated on Rule #10; but he okayed the coffee logo.  And I agree with him: who wants their car to look like a toilet stall in a gas station? Anyway, most bumper stickers aren’t worth the 20 square inches they’re printed on.

They do have some clever ones, though.  If not for the hindrance to traffic safety and general tackiness, these copyrighted slogans may have found their way to destroying my paint job:

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Land of the Free – Because of the Brave

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Never do anything you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.

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Sorry for driving SO CLOSE in front of you.

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Come to the dark side – we have cookies.

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Hokey Pokey Anonymous: A place to turn yourself around

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National Sarcasm Society (like we need your support)

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What would Mom do?

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To ERR is HUMAN.  To ARR is PIRATE.

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Can we ever truly know when our philosophy assignment is due?

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Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems

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Don’t be Condescending (that’s when you talk down to people)

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Off is how I wish for you to buzz

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Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

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2 Responses to No Bumper Stickers

  1. Jan says:

    But I like you writing about Hubby. Keeps me in touch. LOL

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