Sneaky Sneakertons

Remember the “The Borrowers”?  I saw the movie; it was based on a children’s book series about tiny people who secretly lived in people’s houses and borrowed items to survive.  Around our house, whenever something’s unaccounted for, we blame the Borrowers.

While it’s amusing to think we may be hosting the Clock family, I’m having a little trouble with their counterparts.  Yes, I think we have other muskrats behind the sheetrock.

I’d like to introduce to you the Sneaky Sneakertons.  Rather than borrowers, these shifty critters are lenders; they bring things in.  There’s no other explanation; I keep banishing all kinds of stuff, but it mysteriously reappears.

A few examples:  On November 1, 2010, I distinctly remember banishing all white sugar and flour from my diet.  The Sneakertons evidently find it amusing to devise ways to make these things wiggle their way back into my hands. And I think they’ve procured Pixie dust, because it floats magically to my face.  This is serious!

Another case in point:  We are on the national no-call list.  But sure enough, after a time, the phone starts ringing.  And what about those spam emails?  Who is doing this?

If the picture I’m drawing seems purely physical, let me set you straight: these guys are devious: they can even open my doors and bring back in attitudes I’ve sworn off.  Who other but a Sneaky Sneakerton could cause me to think such things?  It’s just wrong, I tell you.

And I’m sure it’s not any of us in the family that would have the audacity to bring home all these useless gadgets, worn office supplies, and ugly second-hand clothes.

We treated for ants the other day; I’m crossing my fingers that this toxin will have some effect on these other pests as well.

Either that, or I just wish these Lenders would team up with the Borrowers.  Maybe they’ll cancel each other out.

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