Monthly Archives: April 2011

I’m Not the President

Ooh, a dry forecast; ‘gonna tackle that high-profile flower bed that’s run amok. Hey, it’s not like I’m the President—undertaking the lofty endeavors and muscling into people’s lives.  He’s in charge of 3.8 million miles; I just have to keep … Continue reading

Posted in Keeping up Appearances | Tagged | 4 Comments

In Recovery

Hi.  I’m Laura.  And I’m a Workaholic.  I also drink too much caffeine, my eating habits are varied, and I spend more than I ought to. You’re probably thinking, “Tut-tut.  That’s messed up.”  But before you judge me, may I … Continue reading

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Tell Her I Said Hi

“The next time you see her, say ‘Hi’ for me.” Okay. There are just a few things wrong with this.  First of all, you are making some big assumptions: One, that I will be seeing her; Two, if it did … Continue reading

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Oh, Well.

“375, Oh, Dang!”[Click.]  When we took out the pizza and put in the potatoes, I forgot to adjust the temp.  Oh, well.  I’ll be extra crunchy.“Uh, oh, it should smell like ham out here; why doesn’t it smell like ham … Continue reading

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Happy Day!

I deserve to be punished.  Severely. I’ve done bad things.  I’m ten for ten.  I lived as if there were no God, believed what liars told me about Him, and used His name flippantly.  I ignored His rest, disrespected my … Continue reading

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Earth Day

Today I planted azaleas, geraniums, and petunias, but it wasn’t because of Earth Day; it was because these are the three plants that don’t hate me. I’ve never made a point of remembering Earth Day—but that doesn’t mean I’m in … Continue reading

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How To Get Out Of…

HOW TO GET OUT OF… …BED.    Roll to the floor, being sure to land on your head. …A CAR HANGING OFF A CLIFF.   Set the brake.  Open the windows.  Turn off the ignition.  Unbuckle.  Unlock the doors.  Move in planned … Continue reading

Posted in Keeping up Appearances, Relationships | Tagged | 2 Comments