I went online to read up on the medications being taken around here. I’m glad to report, no surprises. I figured as much; we’ve got good docs.
But nonetheless, they all have warning labels. David’s Crohn’s has him on immune inhibitors and anti-inflammatories. He hasn’t experienced any side effects, but these are possible:
Nervousness – Bashful
Anxiety – Grumpy
Drowsiness – Sleepy
Blank facial expression – Dopey
Hair loss – Doc
Runny nose – Sneezy
Burping – Happy
The other day I watched a documentary that said medical education and research is funded by pharmaceutical companies, and we’d all be better off having a gallon of water for breakfast and super-foods for lunch.
They’re probably right.
But it’s hard to ignore the fact that David was deathly ill, and now he’s not. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. And besides: he was Grumpy and Sleepy a long time before he ever got Crohn’s.
I’m only on Prilosec, and haven’t had any side effects. And as for Effie, no warnings unless she’s given 150 times her current dose. Somebody would have to be reeeally stupid.
Well, now that I’ve opened a can of worms, let’s seal it back up with a few favorite, non-medical warning labels:
“For external use only!” — On a curling iron.
“Do not drive with sunshield in place.” On a cardboard sunshield.
“For use on animals only.” — On an electric cattle prod.
“Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.” — On a portable stroller.
“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” — On a child sized Superman costume.
“Warning: May contain nuts.” — On a package of peanuts.
“Not dishwasher safe.” — On a remote control for a TV.
“Do not turn upside down.” — On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.