“Rolling in the Deep” by Adele is a song that packs a wallop:
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I can’t help feeling
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside your hand
And you played it to the beat
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I keep thinking about how rich is the potential of any friendship. Each of us has a secret hope of an abiding bond that would have us rolling in the deep. Sadly, when that kind of blessing comes along, too often it screeches to a halt—because one or both take advantage of the heart we have in our hand, and plays it.
Why do we do it? For no obvious reason, we send ourselves back to Square One. We allow daily disruptions to undermine candor, so we do not experience the depth and breadth and height the soul can reach. I’m not just talking about romance, this goes for any relationship: friend, sibling, spouse, parent, or offspring. We’re always shooting ourselves in the foot.
What’s the source of this subconscious sabotage? Psychologists theorize a fear of rejection, and I totally get that. But I can’t help but think that’s really a cop-out. God promised that “perfect love casts out fear.” And I tend to believe the growly songstress when she belts out those lyrics, “We could have had it all!”
Any person in your life is going to bring a number of things to the table that can cheer you up, or tick you off; bring you joy, or cause you pain; help you love, or drive you crazy. Chances are, it’s going to be all of the above. The closer you get, the more you are at risk. You could have it all, or you could be played. But if it means having family or friend with whom we are rolling in the deep? …It’s worth the gamble.