Note To Self

Note to Self:

N E V E R   A S K   S O M E O N E …

… “When’s the baby due?”  (a la Brian Regan)

… “What does that word mean on your T-shirt?  (There’s a reason it’s in French.)

… “How ‘bout you drop me off here while you go the fly shop?” (There’s more to a store like that than feathers and fuzz.)

… “What do you think of this idea for rearranging the living room?” (My Goodness, people care a lot about this topic!!)

… “What can I pick up for you at the Asian grocery?”  (You will either be unable to say it, find it, or stomach it.)

= – = – =

Note to Self:

R E C O N S I D E R …

…the waiting area with the man talking loud enough for the whole room to hear.  (Unless you like hearing about badgers, video games, or Pentecostals.)

…writing in a birthday card, “I’d like to take you shopping for a –.”  (It’s like committing to pay half of each child’s tuition: somebody gets the short end of the stick.)

…clicking that unsolicited link.  (You’ll end up with a virus, something X-rated, or a time-share in Zimbabwe.)

…grocery shopping on an empty stomach (or full).  (The cart will either be full of Little Debbie or little pills.)

…that financial arrangement with a friend.  (The real note to self here? The words financial and arrangement are mutually exclusive.)

…a summer road trip in a black car.  (This is where they coined the phrase sticky buns.)

…an asymmetrical haircut.  (Because most of us are lopsided enough as it is.)

= – = – =

Note to Self:

A L W A Y S …

…lock both doors to the bathroom.  (There is no one trustworthy.  No one.)

…wait a week on any major decision.  (Especially involving boats or dogs.)

…stay in the kitchen when baking anything for ten minutes.  (That is, unless you’re a fan of Cajun carcinogenic cookies.)

…have the new diaper at the ready.  (Need I say more?)


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2 Responses to Note To Self

  1. Emily says:

    Waiting on the decision regarding dogs…how’d that work out for you guys? 😉

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