Why is it we remember most, what we should most forget? A favorite movie scene is forever imprinted in my brain; it’s from “You’ve Got Mail”. Four people are stuck in an elevator: “If I ever get out of here, I’m going to start speaking to my mother…” “If I ever get out of here, I’m going to marry Arete….” And then we have the superficial rich-witch, digging through her designer purse–who snarls, “Where are my TicTacs?!!”
That woman (superbly acted by Parker Posey, by the way) has what is known as a First World Problem. In Third World countries they don’t have Tic Tacs. (Or elevators, for that matter.)
For clarity, here are a few FWP’s I gleaned. (Oh, don’t look these up; I stopped ‘cause many were naughty.)
— “My laptop is dying, but my charger is over there.”
— “I have too much food on my plate; my peas keep falling off.”
— “I should probably go exercise, but my hair looks really good today, and I don’t want to ruin it.”
— “I can’t hear the TV while I’m eating crunchy snacks.”
Okay, here’s where we do a little introspection: Ask yourself this simple question, Ladies and Gentlemen: What is the thing in life, that one little thing, that ……….ROYALLY TICKS YOU OFF!?!?!?!!
…Does your oven not cook your giant rib of beef quite right? Does your cell coverage wane when you’re at your beach house? Is that bag of food you give your DOG so heavy you need help loading it in your Suburban?
I’ve got you thinking now, haven’t I?
But forgetting, for a moment, this minor stuff—what about other First World Problems, like terrorism, drugs, STDs, violence, unemployment…? A person could go mad just thinking about it.
It’s strange, though: for this whole last half hour, my mind keeps going back to my own First World Problem: those people at the grocery store that get to have fresh halibut, organic tomatoes, and name-brand ice cream—and then whip out the booklet of food stamps.