Short People

In Maryland, they tried to outlaw the song “Short People” by Randy Newman; but the vote was …short. [hehe]

I’m 5’ 1”, and I love that song.  It’s a writing technique I employ almost daily:  it’s known as sarcasm or irony.  A deeper point is being made: nobody really believes “short people got no reason to live.”  [Or DO they!?!]

Newman said the song was about prejudice, but he also said it was about a lunatic.  I totally get that.  Only a lunatic would be so narrow as to isolate a small [haha] segment of society as being unacceptable.

A list of short celebrities had the usuals: Napoleon, Woody, Dustin.  But did you know they’re all the same height as Hitchcock and Pacino?  Some people just seem bigger (in more ways than one).  I was surprised to see Elton John and Rod Serling measuring down at 5’ 4”.  That’s shorter than Hobbits Elijah Wood and Sean Astin.  Then we have some of the Marx and Stooges brothers in the same range as Beethoven, Michael J. Fox, and Pesci, Dreyfuss, and Houdini (I guess that explains a few things).   The 5’ 3” and unders included Sammy Davis, Ghandi, Davy Jones, Pat Morita, Prince, Mickey Rooney, Dudley Moore, Paul Simon, and Danny DeVito.  The not-so-big winner was 4’ 8”: Gary Coleman.  Now that I think about it, some of these people didn’t seem to have a reason to live.  (Just kidding.)

Seriously, though [badum-CHING], I do like songs like “Short People” and “Money for Nothing” (which was outlawed, by the way): they use sarcasm to make a strong statement against something unfair:  like guys landing ludicrous lucre for a blistered guitar thumb—or prejudice against a people group.

I, for one, don’t like being pegged.  It would be a nicer world without snobs.  We could enjoy each other greatly, as miracles made in the image of God, free to sport our own style of car, clothes, or hairstyle.  I’m a free agent, keeping company with whom I wish, exchanging divergent opinions.  I am not in the least concerned about those who might think “I got no reason to live.”  Take it or leave it—  I’m short.  I’m fat.  I’m ethnic.  And I’m coming soon to a restaurant near you.

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7 Responses to Short People

  1. Naphtali says:

    I have a post about being short! I am almost 5’2. Great post!

  2. LOL! My rather tall husband sings that song occasionally to me! He’s a doofus. 😉

  3. Ralph Dratman says:

    But how tall is Randy Newman??

  4. b says:

    “I’m Four-foot eleven and I’m going to heaven and it makes me feel ten feet tall.”

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