Decorating Can Be Tricky

 

“The Christmas decorations look so pretty, Hon.”

“Aw, thanks, Babe.  ‘Glad you like them.”

“…It’s just…”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“WHAT?!”

“Well, I just wish that garland were centered above that picture.  It kind of bugs me.”

“Oh, that’s easy: we just have to the nail to the left.  And that way the scallop will be higher on the right and there will be more slack on the left.”

“No, if you do that, there will be more slack on the right, not on the left.”

“No…”

[Yes… No… Yes… No…]

“Let me show you.” [Stands on couch, reaching…]

“Don’t touch it.”

[The garland is pretty, but this next part wasn’t.]

We both realized in short order how ridiculous it was to be arguing about a Christmas garland.  Think of it—that is the epitome of irony.

Forgive us, Lord.

Like the songs of the season, an illustration I’d heard last night was ringing in my ears.  A friend was explaining that her husband’s learning style is very visual.  She finally learned that it works better if she draws a picture for him.  I said, “Just a minute.  I have an idea.”

Like a robot with a laser eyes, I scanned the “slider” drawer.  Eureka! (I knew there was a reason I hoarded that ball-bearing string from the broken blinds.)  Then, in God’s (humorous) good order, the two high-and-mighty interior designers were brought to our knees.  Would you believe we were crawling around on the carpeting?  Hahaha!!  I spread the string on the floor, depicting the garland.  Then I held a pin at the center peak, representing the nail.  Then I physically moved the center peak, nail and all, a couple of inches to the left.

“Ohhh!!”

….Wow.

I’m just sayin’.

So, after 31 years together, we’ve finally discovered I’m an auditory learner, and he’s a visual.  (And evidently I explain things better on paper.)

‘Can’t help but wonder where we’d be today if we’d met this friend decades ago.  Oh, wait.  She wasn’t born yet.

Sometimes these posts just write themselves.

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