“Where Grace is in Place”


Jeff VanVonderen wrote Families Where Grace is in Place. My friend posted a synopsis from libertyforcaptives.com. Here’s my [family ~ job ~ school ~ church], one minute version:
Ten Signs of a Grace-Filled [Group]
1.) Out-loud affirming (vs. out-loud shaming). In grace-full [groups], members are told they are loved and accepted, capable, valuable, and supported out loud. …
2.) People-oriented (vs. performance-oriented). People are valued because of who they are, not because of what they do. …
3.) Out-loud rules and expectations (vs. unspoken rules). … For rules to serve well, everyone needs to know what they are. …
4.) Communication is clear and straight (vs. code words). If you want someone to take out the garbage, say “Can you please take out the garbage…”
5.) God is the source (vs. idolatry). God is our need-meeter, vindicator, defender.. We are not valuable or acceptable because of our job, our performance…
6.) Children are enjoyed (vs. giving the kids a hard time). In grace-full [groups], kids are free to be kids. … They are simply exploring life …
7.) Responsibility and accountability (vs. fault and blame). … Punishment inflicts pain with no benefit. But discipline involves forgiveness. …
8.) “Head skills” are used for learning (vs. “head skills” used for defending). In grace-full [groups], thinking is used for the purpose of learning how to live life. In shame-based [groups] it is used to defend, to blame, to make excuses, and to get out of being responsible—all in order to avoid being shamed. …
9.) Feelings are valid and useful (vs. weak on “heart skills”). … Grace-full [groups] recognize that feelings are opportunities for members to connect with one another, to complete unfinished relational business, or to support one another in making wise choices in response to how we feel.
10.) It’s okay for outsides to match insides (vs. empty people learning to act full). In grace-full [groups], what is real is more important than how things look. Having a safe, unconditionally accepting place where outsides can match insides is really the only way to find out if there are inside needs and problems that must be addressed. …


This entry was posted in Christianity, Homemaking, Job/Career, Relationships, Self-confrontation and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to “Where Grace is in Place”

  1. Amen! So thankful for the grace-filled groups that fill my life ♥

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